In-Laws or Out-Laws

I was very fortunate indeed, to marry into a wonderful family. Truly, it has been an accepting family of amazing friends. They have been quite tolerant of my idiosyncrasies and tendencies to be a bit out of the ordinary. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a sore thumb or someone you might think of as really odd, just a bit eccentric, I suppose you might say.

As a family, we have had the opportunity to travel together on occasion and have gotten on quite well. We spent time in Europe together, traveled across the US in a motor home, (with five kids and five adults.) That scenario alone would sink most family relationships, but not ours. It has become stronger – it had to, to survive.

We have picnicked on the steps of the Smithsonian Institute, shared lunch in Golden Gate Park, eaten out in suspect eateries in Key West, FL and attempted an outdoor lunch in the mosquito infested surroundings of rural North Dakota. Throughout these various sorties we have bonded and have learned the value of true friendship and accepting relatives for what they are.

Throughout our association over the last forty years, we have all changed remarkably and have developed an understanding and perspective of each others space. Each of us is unique. Strong personality, that could well define a rocky relationship are permitted and even tolerated. Now with extended families competing for attention we find ourselves more and more, as couples, content in the occasional lunch out together or just doing things together. Finding a new restaurant, attending an auction, looking for selected plants for yard or garden or just a chance visit still holds its reward for the four of us.

We have had trials and problems to be sure. We have also survived divorces, deaths, demotions, ridicule and rankling camaraderie from associates. Through it all we have been able to come out smiling and saying we have grown from that experience.

Thrown into this mix, has always been the everyday experiences that have brought raised eyebrows, amused smiles, giggles, laughter and side splitting hilarity. None of it has been contrived or otherwise orchestrated. It has come of its own accord, willingly or unwillingly perpetrated by one very proper member of the family that truly endeavors to always have an affinity toward doing things correctly. I suppose this is what makes it comical when the unforeseen happens to him, which is often..

Take for example one early morning breakfast. We had traveled some distance trying to gain some time on the road anticipating a very long day traveling. We wanted a real meal, not just snacks provided by the thoughtful driver. We spotted a small town in the middle of the Oregon high dessert that might promise something to satisfy the growing hunger pains that seemed to be growing by the moment. We all decided this was going to be our last chance for food for several more hours. We weren’t really starving but the backbone seemed to be uncomfortably closer to the belt buckle. Consensus of opinion was to at least see what the prospects were here in the minuscule cow(sheep)town.

The community was not a prosperous one but had had its prosperity a century ago. Sheep raising was the commodity of respect in that area. It was easy to see why things were not going so well at the moment. This was a community of about thirty five struggling people, if that many. The effort of a few diehard residents could be witnessed if one took the time to be observant.

The hotel was of the late 1800s vintage and nothing much had obviously changed since it was built. In the dinning room there were tables for four scattered about the room. There was no discernable order to the room. It resembled a hodge-podge of odds and ends of stout tables and very old chairs that occupied the aging interior. We were invited to find a table, which we did. Pancakes were the main healthy eatables on the menu. We ordered and waited with anticipation.

It wasn’t long before we had our stacks of hotcakes with appropriate accoutrements. We attacked the breakfast with gusto. The smallish pancakes seemed to have somewhat of a mind of their own. Somehow one of mine managed to skip off the plate onto the floor. Of course not wanting to call attention to the faux pas, I reached down and just said very quietly, “Ops.”

What happened next was tantamount to an implosion. No one said anything but looked like the three of my companions would bust at any moment. Mouths full of syrupy breakfast were hastily hidden behind minuscule paper napkins. We all attempted to stifle the surprise and hilarity that commenced and threatened to erupt into uncontrolled laughter. Even I found this unusual event somewhat amusing. Keeping the other three from leaving the room was going to be my challenge. We survived that near fiasco. It goes without saying, that event has been relived many times over until the actual happening hardly resembles the truth. I know. I was there.

It always seems that eating activities will bring out the worst in unplanned events. I don’t’ know why. It seems that I use all caution to preserve the dignity of the meal and truly mean to not embarrass those I dine with. Over and over again the unexpected and unexplained events go hand in hand with meals in public places especially with these unfortunate relatives. .

Take for example the time I ordered Tater Tots. It wasn’t by choice that while spearing one of those slippery little dudes, that one went flying to the next table. It wasn’t intentional. Fortunately no one was sitting at that table at the time but you can be sure that the same three table companions have not let it slide by. After all, it was hardly unnoticed. It doesn’t take much of an imagination to conjure up the results of that incident too.

The embarrassing events have not ceased but do become more expected if not more tolerable. The last event happened just recently. The restaurant was not crowed and fortunately we were seated in the corner of the dinning room. I prefer being seated in a corner. I don’t like people behind me and I enjoy watching other people at work eating.

We hadn’t gotten through the salad and bread when it happened. I don’t know why so much salad dressing is put on some salads. I suppose those slippery slivers of lettuce, small, round and tough hided min-tomatoes are the preferred vegetable used in restaurant salads. I find them offensive and a great deal of a challenge. How do you gracefully spear or fork those into the mouth. Obviously there is a correct mind set that will accomplish the task, but I have yet to discover the trick. Without any fanfare, my attempt at stabbing the lubricated delicacy was met with a decided unexpected outcome. The small tomato simply hit the front of my shirt and dribbled on down to a comfortable stopping place. Once again, those with me and myself included, had a private opportunity to laugh out loud, leaving those around us to imagine what could have prompted the joy from the corner of the room.

One thing I must add here. My family has always tried very hard to help me keep my dignity. Often it is a difficult commission. Most of the time I can count on them covering for me and my dignity is spared. However, my brother-in-law somehow finds that retelling the incidents brings its own rewards. Each time he embroideries the story making it absolutely more expressive with each telling.

All this is done in a sense of true friendship and good brotherly love. Without that a lot of these incidents would remain locked away in a place where no one would ever hear about them. My family, for sure, has every right to be embarrassed at times. However, they have honed a great aptitude for covering up my ineptness and clumsy attempts at grace. They are troupers with large forgiving hearts and generous attitudes.

I wouldn’t trade one of them for any other table companion.